Honorary lifetime chair of royalist organisation RARA, Sir Flavius Dint, reflects on the non-curtseying calumny committed by Julia Gillard yesterday.
Yesterday will live on forever as a dark day of infamy for Australia. The day when the Red Witch – that unelected, graceless, upstart of a Prime Minister, Juliar Gillard – showed her seditious and malicious disrespect to our most regal and exalted monarch, Queen Elizabeth II – long live the Queen!! – by not adequately abasing herself and showing nearly enough cringing, fawning, obeisance to her exalted better.
Her disgrace shames as us all! Oh, dark, dark, times…
At the Royal Australian Royalist Association (RARA) yesterday, when the unthinkable happened, our members were – as they invariably are during waking hours – comfortably ensconced in deep leather armchairs inside the Melbourne Club. As you very well might imagine, as we began watching a telecast of the Queen being greeted by various local dignitaries the RARA mood became decidedly buoyant.
We were, of course, immensely gratified to see that slip of a girl, the female Govenor General – Bryce, I believe her name is – performing a passable curtsey as she greeted her glorious Sovereign. It was acceptable, we agreed. (Of course, it wasn’t quite low enough for my personal taste but I am known as something of a stickler in matters of etiquette!)
Then it came the turn of that vile and traitorous Red Witch (and when I say “Red” I am not referring to the colour of her hair!) to greet the Queen. As she went to greet her royal highness, I can tell you, a veritable sea of gin was spluttered back up over a phalanx of tightly buttoned waistcoats as we watched in utter incredulity while she…she – I can barely bring myself to write these previously unimaginable words – yes, shook The Queen’s (God Save the Queen!!) precious and delicate hand.
That’s right, shook her hand!!
Well of course, the right-thinking press have been outraged over the incident, though no doubt those disgusting liquor sodden terrorists, the bog Irish Republicans, are thinking of it as some sort of moral victory — confound them!
Here at RARA, our members are muttering grimly about the sort of world we have been catapulted into where this person – this common as mud Australian woman – has the cheek, the impertinence, the downright bald-faced effrontery, to greet her Sovereign as a near equal.
Who the blathering hell does she think she is?
Has she somehow forgotten she was born in Wales — a lowly coal-miner’s daughter? And that she, through some scurrilous parliamentary machinations and downright lying and deceit, has been somehow installed as the Prime Minister of this backwater dominion that had its glory days over a century ago when it was still run as a penal colony by the British Marines?
Just what the Dickens does she think she’s playing at?!
Now, as I understand it from my esteemed colleagues on the RARA board, corporal and capital punishment has unfortunately been stricken from the criminal code in Australia — I believe it happened recently, whilst I was at lunch. Bloody bleeding heart socialists! In any event, I call on her most regal and serene Majesty, our most noble Queen Elizabeth II, to exact suitable retribution on the Red Witch, Gillard — this treacherous colonial usurper who probably fancies herself a Red Queen. Pass a proclamation condemning this usurper — this beastly upstart. Send the Peelers to get that Red Hag in stocks in front of Canberra’s Parliament House – naked…ah, on second thoughts, fully clothed – and whip her on the hour every hour while she begs forgiveness of the Queen and the people of this dull, desolate, land, while bystanders throw rotten fruit and taunt her mercilessly and unrelentingly—in much the same vein the Daily Telegraph, the Herald Sun and The Australian already do on a daily basis.
Then, and only then, can this vile traitor act to somewhat expunge the despicable calumny she has wrought against the Australian people and her most glorious and saintly Queen.
Huzzah for The Queen!! Long for her to rule over us!! And long live the curtsey!